Dependency

Driving. It’s out for me right now. No one had to tell me this. In fact, no one has said anything to me about the matter. There is no need. I know that I am currently not fit to drive safely because of my current condition and medications that I am on. So like the old saying goes, “Better safe than sorry.” Yes, it’s better for me and better for others on the road.

I would like to believe that everyone thinks this way, but sadly this is not the case. There are probably thousands of people driving, who don’t need to be behind the wheel, but we won’t focus on them. Right now, I’m just feeling the sting of dependency. I mean, I depend on others to get me around and that is bothersome . . . at least to my ego.

Dependence. What am I supposed to learn from this? Perhaps that I cannot make it completely on my own? Well, no one can. The whole idea of being an island unto oneself is just a lie. Unfortunately, it is an infectious lie believed by (probably) the majority of people. It is born from the hell-spawn ideology of radical individualism.

Well, insofar as I “bought” the whole idea, it is now being debunked in my life. I cannot make it on my own. I depend on others to take me places I need or want to go. I also depend on medications (whether that is ultimately good or not). I especially depend on the love, encouragement, support, and prayers of others. I am not an island unto myself.

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8 thoughts on “Dependency

  1. I’m so sorry. It’s takes a lot of courage to admit that you need help. I still struggle with that. I had to depend on others to get me places at one time. I learned a lot from that. I would suggest journaling during this especially and truly tune into what your heart and soul and body can teach you. This isn’t going to be easy, but you are facing it head on and I’m so proud of you. You are loved, support, and treasured, and cherished my dear sweet friend. You are not alone. You are not alone. I would also encourage you to meditate and take time for yourself. Self-care during this time in your life is so so important. You got this. Just keep moving forward because you are not alone. He meaning God will be with you even in the darkest moments of your life and you will have them God will be with you. You have family and friends here on this blog that love you and are here for you. Keep reaching out and keep sharing your struggles. You will slowly begin to heal and you will find yourself again and you will also find yourself in a position where you can have some your independence back. I just want to say again how proud of you I am. You’re awesome! Have a great day. Love you and sending you a huge hug!!

  2. I had to come back to this moving yet powerful personal prose. I read it last night, but I just couldn’t formulate the right words to comment then. Because where you saw dependence, I saw strength and acceptance of something beyond your control. It’s always difficult to ask and receive support from others, but more often than not people are always willing to lend a hand, if we dare ask.

    And your latest piece, “Awakening to the New Day” already embraces that love, encouragement, support, and prayers of others. Keep well my friend. Much love!

  3. When I was in treatment for six months, I was in no shape of driving. One person from my fellowship jumped right in to coordinated – have people signed up to take me to the hospital, check in for the 5-day treatment. I check out on Sunday, so my husband could pick me up. After discharged, there were follow up appointments. by the end of six month, a professor’s wife drove me to the appointment. She said, “I’m glad I got my chance to drive you before you don’t need drivers any more.” I felt like people were lining up to get their turn to help me. During driving, I could be myself, not feeling obligated to talk, because it wasn’t social time. I had no energy to talk. The drivers friends didn’t feel it was social time either.
    When people brought meals to me, my coordinator told them that they didn’t have to come into my home because I was in no shape to receive visitors. She also told me that I should feel like I had to invite them in.
    I still couldn’t drive months after the chemo, because the drug fogged my head and I had a few second delayed reaction. I knew that it was not safe on the road if I had delayed reaction.
    My blog’s tag line is “Giving and receiving blessings.” I learned a lot about accepting help as receiving blessings. I’m glad you’re experiencing receiving of blessings!!!!!

    1. Wow! That is an awesome testimony! How wonderful, and thank you… I am coming off of my medicines now and it is very, very hard, so I am especially thankful for all of the help and prayers and encouragement I receive.

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