Anxiety

You feel him rising up inside, though you’ve tried to keep him down,
Drowned in alcohol and pills — you’ve been thru it all — and you fall;
You can’t even stand, and the band in your mind plays an insane tune
That kind of makes you want to take a chance, dance in full frenzy
Like a bull in a china shop; yeah, and you chop the air with your arm
Not far from harm, but the dæmon’s not here to charm but to alarm,
And so you feel him rising up even more; not surprising, you’ve been
Here before, right? Now it’s night, but the dark inside is far more stark,
Right? And you’re out of sight; no one sees you but nobody believes you
Anyway, right? And so you fight alone, again; begin again and again
And again, and you begin to fall from your tall perch on your big bed,
You hit your head, nothing’s said as the dæmon’s fed more and more;
It’s nothing but gore, and you feel like an emotional whore, and you
Can see where he tore into your heart that’s racing in its frantic pacing,
But you can’t stop it, see? Frack the bills, where are those damn pills!
More pulsating elevation from the television in escalation of tribulation;
Pills! More pills; the real deal to heal, right? Make the dæmon go away
Tonight, just for tonight, but there’s only one more left, that’s all
And it’s so damn small, and so you scream — it’s a nightmare dream —
And you call for help like a little whelp but no one answers and silent
Enhancers from neurogenic shock-waves that paves the way to insanity
As you battle anxiety, so very cold and unseen, so very bold and keen;
One small pill to fill your night with peace, eh? Will this ever cease?

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15 thoughts on “Anxiety

  1. I like how the style of your writing– chaotic, flowing– reflects the chaos and constancy of the subject and emotion you were talking about. My roommate suffers from anxiety, and what you wrote was a beautiful reflection of the things many people suffer from.

    1. Thank you so very, very much … I certainly appreciate the love and hugs! I need them right now. Truly, depression and anxiety are ongoing battles. All the best to you w/blessings!

      1. I do understand, I’ve had my own similar battles over the years and you’re right: it’s an ongoing battle, I call it “trying the keep the black dog at bay”. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, although I haven’t had one of those in over 2 years, touch wood. Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble on 🙂
        Do take care of yourself, and there’s lots of love flying over to your side of the pond xo

  2. The poem speaks, even shouts for itself and is passionate. I agree that the frantic flow and pacing echo how I understand my own anxiety. And then there are all these internal rhymes which can sneak by the reader who is drawn in by the passion, but add a nice twist on the poetic norm of end rhymes. Good use, great poem, and although from nearly a year ago, I do hope that you are doing well and staying strong!

    1. Ah! Thank you so very, very much! Your most gracious words humble me… I still struggle but am determined to remain as strong and steady as possible! Thank you for your comment, and all the best to you w/peace and blessings!

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